Sarah Jessica Parker Answers Almost Every Question We Have Near The Family Rock

Photo: Twentieth Century Fox

My favorite genre of movie is "bustling, dramatic upper-middle-class white family loses their minds during one particularly charged weekend." The Family Stone — released in 2005 to middling reviews — is this genre's crowning achievement. Sarah Jessica Parker stars equally the career-driven Meredith Morton, who spends Christmas with her boyfriend Everett's (Dermot Mulroney) New England family. Meredith's nervousness reads as iciness from the moment Everett's motorcar pulls into the Stone's driveway, and the family unit immediately circles the wagons when they see that their prodigal son has decided to ally her. If Everett's mother Sybil (Diane Keaton) isn't undercutting her every action, his younger sister Amy (Rachel McAdams) sips coffee and sets traps for Meredith in every conversation. Somewhen, Meredith calls for backup: She calls for her sister Julie (Claire Danes), and the Stone family is immediately smitten with the more outgoing Morton.

I mean, in that location's really no smoothen style to say this next part: Everett, boneheaded, falls for Julie. Meredith, against her meliorate judgement, warms to Everett'due south weed-smoking, sweatpants-wearing brother Ben (Luke Wilson). The whole family unit is reeling from the news that Sybil'due south chest cancer has returned. There's a deeply uncomfortable dinner scene where Meredith is cluelessly homophobic, and another scene where she accidentally points to a blackness graphic symbol as a charades clue for The Helpmate Wore Black. Stunningly, the only set up piece missing here is a dear family canis familiaris.

And yet I love this moving-picture show unironically. I picket information technology every Christmas. I lookout man it even when it's not Christmas. I beloved Rachel McAdams's scowl. I love Diane Keaton's pristine white button-up, and the mode she wears information technology under a frumpy robe. I beloved Luke Wilson's oversize Due north Face parka, which he definitely could non afford. I love that Mulroney'due south character is named Everett, because that'due south my cousin's proper name. Also, The Family unit Stone is fun! And information technology's the rare studio motion-picture show that features three women, and, instead of begging you to like them, presents them with sharp sides and questionable intentions intact.

Every year I basically dice considering no one wants to listen to me talk about this picture show at length. (The militia of Family Stone warriors is small, and it's mostly simply me and Bobby Finger.) So I decided to talk to Sarah Jessica Parker almost it.

Can yous give me a sense of what your life was like when you signed on to The Family Stone? I think you were winding down work on Sex activity and the City.
I'm not sure if I had finished Sexual practice and the City yet, actually. When I first met [manager] Tom Bezucha and the offer came, I had recently finished. I was feeling good. I had simply completed a long run as part of a project that I was proud of and had obviously changed the course of my life. I felt very privileged, and information technology felt like nosotros were able to stop [the show] in a way that nosotros all felt adept nigh.

But also I did have a young son, and I was looking forward very much to existence his parent and having existent time with him. When Family Stone came up, I remember that I had some time betwixt wrapping Sexual practice and the City the serial and starting a moving picture. I knew my son was going to come with me, which was actually important. That'due south kind of the beauty of movies: They're a finite period. While they are intense and all-consuming, it's kind of like a window. As a parent who wanted to spend time with my kid, information technology was ideal.

What was your meeting with Tom like?
I was excited that he wanted me to play the role. He had very specific ideas about this character. He offered a really nice challenge. He wanted her to exist skilled in ways that I had not been onscreen. There was a sort of dank quality to her, where her neuroses were so axiomatic, and however she works and so hard to mask that. She was wound so tight.

The way she moves and behaves, it'southward all very restrained.
There was also that stillness. Carrie Bradshaw was very physical. She moved around a lot; she gesticulated a lot. Easily were an important part of the way she told stories, and Tom really didn't want that, which was exciting to me. We actually did talk a lot about that. Even in the process of shooting, in that location would exist times that he would remind me of some of those original landmarks that we were shooting for.

Last dark I read some onetime reviews about the motion-picture show, and I've go so defensive of Meredith. People call her unlikable or shrill, which are obviously very loaded labels. I think she's just really nervous — who tin can't relate to that? Did it bother y'all, how she was received?
I don't read reviews, luckily. I'm always curious when at that place is a general opinion about a woman not being likable. I take personal criminal offense to it, as well. I actually struggle with how to take those conversations with people and not be defensive, simply actually talk about what those words mean, and why qualities that are called unlikable when they are attributed to a female character in cinema are not at all applied to a man. I've had that even recently with Divorce. It's so curious. Information technology's not without frustration on my part.

I didn't think she was unlikable at all. Peculiarly in romantic comedies, there's this thought almost likable, relatable gals. I think it does a huge disservice to the billions of woman who are all wonderfully different. Somebody is nervous, or lacks confidence? I establish none of it unlikable. In fact, I found her compelling. I was drawn to her because of her exhibited neuroses.

I think Meredith was probably somebody who had very high standards for herself and lived in a world that was most subject field, advent, success, ambition, and personal achievement. I think information technology fabricated her really quite touching. I really liked her, and I was distressing that she suffered and then much, that she was and then hard on herself and then difficult on others. She was making an endeavor to accept a full life, a life that she thought was a portrait of success. I found those qualities very human.

On the other side of this dynamic is Diane Keaton. Were you nervous? Was it difficult to not take her attitude with your character personally?
I was nervous well-nigh information technology. She and I actually had worked together before; nosotros did First Wives Society. I didn't spend a lot of fourth dimension on camera with her, just I had been around her a little bit. I was nervous, but at least I had some exchanges with her previous to that. She was very nervous-making. She was tough on me.

Tough how?
I wasn't certain in the beginning whether she was existence personally tough on me, whether it was her relationship to the character. I came to understand that information technology was very much about the dynamic that the characters, what are they engaging in. She was tough on me in a way, but information technology was very specific to the on-camera story, and not personal and non mean. It was a huge joy to play those scenes with her, and wonderfully terrifying.

I loved working with her because I learned a lot nigh … I got — it was sort of a backstage laissez passer to ameliorate understanding why I loved her so as an actor, and I practice, and have for many, many years.

Can you tell me what you lot capeesh nearly her as an role player, virtually her process?
She'southward very particular near the work. She worked extremely hard. She asks a lot of questions. She'south serious almost the work. There'due south a lightness to her. At that place's a sort of soufflé thing about Diane Keaton. She has this really buoyant — do you know what I mean?

Yeah.
She's witty and she's clever and she's seemingly scattered in a way. But that does not really speak to the enormous intelligence and seriousness that she brings to her piece of work. It'due south not an accident, her piece of work. Information technology's not easy. It's thoughtful and considered.

I promise I'm not saying something I shouldn't, simply she wears headphones on the fix. To stay focused, she'll vesture headphones basically until they phone call activeness. I think information technology's a very interesting way to stay focused. A set is wonderfully chaotic. There'south a lot going on, and a lot of last-minute adjustments, people talking and going over lines, all the diverse disciplines on the set taking care of what they need to do. It's a strangely chaotic place considering what has to happen the second the camera rolls, which is that everything goes quiet and notwithstanding.

Who do you think was more than barbarous, the Diane Keaton character or the Rachel McAdams character?
Yous probably know the movie amend than I do, I've only seen information technology once. My guess is that the female parent remains the most of import person, the person whose approval you about need. I think that family, when they circled the wagons, is very intense and formidable combatants, but the gravitas of a female parent kind of eclipses [anyone else].

How many times did the iii of y'all have to fall into that egg dish, the breakfast strata?
Many times. Many times.

Please tell me everything about information technology.
I know nosotros had a agglomeration of costumes fix. We did it a lot because it was covered from a bunch of unlike angles. As always, before those scenes, information technology'southward a lot of give-and-take most how it's going to happen and when it'south going to happen. You effort to control as much as you can simply I think for a camera to be able to capture it. But it has to feel completely out of control and reckless and spontaneous.

I was admittedly completely covered with it. I recall going in for coverage, and having to stay covered in it. Like, I couldn't make clean upward. I had to stay because they were going in for tighter shots, and we couldn't endeavour to re-create how information technology had spilled on me. I spent many, many hours staying in that outfit.

I love that stuff. I beloved falling. I love all the physical stuff. I honey props. For me, the more real all that can be, the ameliorate the work is, the amend I experience similar I'thou actually having the experience, so I don't want anyone else to practise information technology for me. I don't care if I'm covered in some Swedish egg casserole or any that was. I definitely know that I was the last of the solar day. I know that they covered me last. I spent many hours in some version of that, but information technology didn't really carp me.

After the strata scene, I think the second almost infamous is the dinner scene: Meredith has a actually hard time request Everett's gay brother and his partner if they'd really desire a gay son. Was that excruciating to film, someone who'south incorrect only having such a hard time explaining even what she's thinking?
Yeah, information technology was excruciating because of the silences, you lot know? I didn't want annihilation about that to be like shooting fish in a barrel, and I didn't want it to feel familiar. You do and so many takes of scenes similar that considering yous're moving around the table very slowly with the photographic camera so that everybody'south covered in the scene, and that actually is a scene where you really need to exist on people at different times — in the editing room, you need all those choices.

So, yes, it was, because at that place'due south nobody to help yous. Yous really are alone in it. She'southward trying so difficult to defend an statement — to course correct really chop-chop — but it'southward a long-held belief. She isn't arriving at this as a conversation piece. Information technology'southward non like you're joining in and proverb, "I simply wondered, 'Did you ever recollect that maybe it might be easier if y'all hadn't fabricated that selection, or if this wasn't your life?'" That is much more than painful because information technology was and so revealing about her, but also she was and then much on her ain. And, aye, all the actors were looking at me. I wanted to feel isolated, so information technology was excruciating, only it felt accordingly so.

Was Meredith'south tic always the pharynx-clearing?
Yes. From the beginning, I think it was written into the script.

Practise yous remember the bandage doing a lot of improv, or finding things on the 24-hour interval?
I don't call back there's a lot of improv. Diane can practise it and does information technology beautifully. I tend non to considering I think information technology's difficult to practise it really, really well. I'm sure you've seen many cases when people call up they're good at it. It's sort of awful when someone isn't peachy at it and doesn't add something meaningful.

Would you be mad if your ain sister stole your fiancé?
I guess it would depend on the circumstances.

What!!
I hateful, I don't know. I estimate that would be pretty hurtful. You mean like a electric current fiancé, non someone that is broken upward, but that somebody who is in fact, to your noesis, your fiancé?

Yes.
And you are engaged?

Mm-hmm. Just like in the movie.
Well, yes. Information technology would be very upsetting. That would exist awful. Too, it'south very difficult to imagine that my sister — I take many sisters. I tin can't imagine whatsoever of them doing that. Our tastes are very different, allow's just starting time with that. Yep, I recollect that would exist probably really problematic for everybody, for the entire family.

I want to go back to the kitchen scene for a second because that'due south maybe my favorite line reading in the movie: You're covered in the food and sort of whimper, "What'south so slap-up about yous guys?"
I don't even recollect when I say information technology. You have to remind me, I'm so sorry.

No, you lot're fine! I literally watch this movie every twelvemonth, and then I'm very familiar with information technology.
Mayhap I should sentinel information technology again. Maybe my daughters would honey it. They're nine. Are they as well young, or are they the correct age?

I think that'southward the perfect age. I think it's totally advisable. You lot have to testify it to them. Merely anyway, it's when the strata has just dropped in the kitchen. You're looking at Diane, sort of similar, Why would I even want to be a part of this family? "What's and so great near you guys?" Diane says, "Well, you know, we're all we've got."
Right, yeah. Thank you.

I'g truly recounting this movie to you, I'm and then sorry.
Oh my God, no, thank you.

After I had to quote one 'Family unit Stone' line to Sarah Jessica Parker I felt too nerdy to quote another 'Family Stone' line to Sarah Jessica Parker. Just this "agree the phone" line reading is one of the most important of my entire life!

Since you have kids, have you ever considered that possibly you'll become this Sybil grapheme when or if they bring someone dwelling house for the holidays?
Yous know, I thought a lot about my children and their romantic life. Matthew [Broderick, her husband] and I would do our very best to be decent and civilized and hospitable to somebody who nosotros'd retrieve is not deserving or worthy of our children.

I've also said to [her son] James Wilkie, "You know, when you go to higher, you tin come domicile" … or when he'due south married, when he's a grown-up person and he has a romantic partner. I would tell him he was going to marry a woman named Mary, and I have no thought why. I was like, "Yous understand you take to come home every Fri for dinner, with or without your partner." I always imagine that it will be like, How could this take happened? That they'd be the nearly perfect, the most suitable selection, that we'd go and so lucky.

I hope that we're a house that our kids desire to come dwelling to, and that people want to spend time with the states for holidays. It would be a thrill. I don't know what you do if you don't intendance for a kid's romantic selection. I don't know how you're supposed to become through that. Looking dorsum, I know for sure that I brought some people habitation that, later, my brothers and parents revealed to me they were so relieved when we broke up.

I beloved that.
But they were very generous [with the guests, at the time].

Would you, Sarah Jessica, pick the Luke Wilson character or the Dermot Mulroney character?
This is very difficult because I love those actors then much.

Okay, just at that place's definitely a incorrect reply here.
Do y'all want to tell me what my answer should be? Do yous want me to option Luke?

Aye. Only because Everett was consistently the worst. Sorry. That dinner scene — he abandons Meredith in that dinner scene! He doesn't fifty-fifty try to assistance her. I could not respect him after that.
Well, you know more than I do. Of course she should finish up with Luke. Of grade she should!

Luke has a line, he says, "You lot have a freak flag, Meredith, but you only don't wing it." I wanted to hear what that advice means to you.
I guess what he meant, and what information technology would hateful to me, is you're not allowing yourself to exist your unique self. You're not allowing yourself to be flawed or incorrect or silly or ridiculous or vulnerable. You're not allowing yourself to exist your truthful person. I guess that'southward certainly what I would hateful if I said that. What do you lot think changed in Meredith?

I think it's what y'all said, that she'due south just relaxed and herself. A lot of the feet comes from non doing that, which I think is what makes the performance so great.
Well thank you.

As I've said, this is my favorite holiday moving-picture show and I watch it all the fourth dimension, but peculiarly this time of yr. Do you accept a favorite holiday movie?
Nosotros don't watch a lot of movies at Christmas. It's very strange. I didn't grow upwardly watching movies at Christmas. At Christmas, we always went to whatever the big movie was, equally a family.

Actually, nosotros used to watch — now, I'm remembering this — when y'all could beginning renting movies on your own we always watched Albert Brooks's movies at Christmas. Always.

Which ones?
Nosotros watched Defending Your Life. We watched Modern Romance. Existent Life. We were obsessed with Albert Brooks, and we watched them over and over once again.

Well, thanks so much for talking to me and letting me indulge —
Thanks. I feel like you know so much more. Simply mostly thanks for loving Meredith. It's so touching and so nice to hear.

This interview has been edited and condensed.

A Long Talk With Sarah Jessica Parker Near The Family Rock